5 March 2008
PLEASE WIPE YOUR FEET
doormat [dawr-mat, dohr-]
n.
1. a mat placed before or inside a door for wiping dirt from the shoes
2. one that submits without protest to abuse or indignities
What is it about people that they think I’m going to fall under this definition? That I’m only here to be a friend when it’s convenient, when I’m needed, only to be discarded and thrown back into the toy box until some sort of boredom arrives again?
How is it I’ve got poor-weather friends? Not to be mistaken with fair-weather friends, who only seem to take any interest in you when I’m doing well. No, the poor-weather friend only seems to come out of the woodwork when they need a shoulder to cry on, or to have some sort of validation. You know the type: "my boyfriend broke up with me / I’m feeling lonely / Maybe I can resume talking to Little Bill as if nothing’s happened, and never mind I haven’t initiated one conversation in three months and haven’t wondered why Little Bill hasn’t…"
This also applies to those who see to contact me only when they need a website built for peanuts or a free photographer, incidentally.
What makes them think I’m going to be there when they come around again? Am I not being a good friend for not being there? Am I not being a good friend for drawing a line and saying that it’s unacceptable?
Oh, and don’t get me started about girls who reject me after dating me but still want to be my friend. I don’t need an army of girls in my circle of friends all of whom can wear the “I’ve dated Little Bill” badge. One or two good ones will suffice.
Am I being unreasonable?
I know that I’ve scaled back on chatting a TON because it is a serious procrastination tool. But I’ve been thinking about socializing in general, and my question is this: with all of the social networking sites and ways to connect, are we connecting less? Are we more concerned with collecting information than processing it?
I know when I’m feeling a little disconnected from it all, I have the same thoughts. But in those cases, I try to reach out more. The flip side, though, is that you can only reach out so much. You only have so many hours in your day, too.
So no, you’re not being unreasonable.
Now, there’s this website I need built – do you think you could set it up? Oh, and do a photo for the banner? ;p
5 March 2008: 3:52 pm
slackmistress,
I think you know without me having to tell you that this isn’t a commentary on our friendship, by any means. Still, I see your point. As to the question of whether or not we’re connecting less, I think it remains to be seen. For instance, your comments here seem to be our primary form of communication lately. I see you on IM, I have your phone number, we’re friends on Facebook, I read your blog too. But the point is that we -do- communicate here. We connect, we interact in this strange way, and our relationship doesn’t deteriorate.
I’m more talking about my friends who fall by the wayside only to reappear then they have need of me. Not even a cursory “hey, I’m just touching base to say hi” comes from them. I make it a point to do the same to those who are important to me, so as to at least remind them that I’m here.
Sometimes it’s the little efforts that keep a friendship strong.
5 March 2008: 4:02 pm
you’re not being unreasonable at all. actually, i have “friends” who are much the same – when they need graphics done, or songs loaded onto their iPods, or something similar, they call me, but otherwise can’t be bothered.
i’ve lately changed my home number, and only given it to people i want to talk to. my cell phone number is still active, and i answer only rarely, if it’s someone who doesn’t have my new home number.
i know that’s drastic, but i’m sure my lifestyle requires much less contact than most. :)
8 March 2008: 5:27 pm
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