Last Wednesday I went into the doctor’s office for a minor case of conjunctivitis which, incidentally, hasn’t gotten any better despite the antibacterial eyedrops which were prescribed to me. Everything’s just a little blurry out of my right eye which makes being a web designer a little bit frustrating. While I was sitting in the waiting room it had occurred to me that I was due for another STD test. It’d been long enough, I’ve been sexually active since the last one, and I like to stay on top of such things.
So while I’m in the office, I ask the doctor — my doctor is on maternity leave — if I could get tested for STDs.
“Which ones would you like to be tested for?” she asks.
“Um. All of them?” I respond. “Is that not normal?”
“Actually it’s not. Usually we just test for Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis and Syphilis.”
“You… don’t test for HIV or Herpes?” I ask incredulously.
“Generally not, unless the patient is a high-risk case. You know, lots of partners.” she responds.
“Well, I’d like the HIV and Herpes too, please.” I say.
“Do you have any symptoms for Herpes?” she asks.
“None that I’m aware of. I’d just like to know.” I respond.
“Yeah, generally this is why I recommend against the Herpes test.” she says.
“I couldn’t imagine any reason why you’d want to recommend against testing for Herpes?”
She responds, “Well, there are plenty of cases out there who are silent carriers. If you’re one, your life changes drastically.”
I say, “I know this.”
She says, “It’ll mean that it doesn’t matter if you’ve ever had a breakout, you’ll have to have ‘the talk’ with your sexual partners.”
To which I respond, “Yes, but in this case, ignorance is not bliss.”
She takes a big sigh and says, “Okay. Well, I’m just saying.”
Can you believe that? Of course I’d have to have “the talk” with my sexual partners if I discover I have herpes… not that I have any reason to believe I’ve got it, incidentally. But it’s good to know, don’t you think? I have met people who, in my three years since having moved to New York City, have contracted herpes. I’m sure in the future I’ll meet more who have it. It’s actually rather common. I gave up making juvenile herpes jokes a long time ago.
However… ignorance is not bliss. I couldn’t believe she’d say that.
Get tested, y’all. It’s good for you. It’s better for others.
ADDENDUM: — June 12, 2007
Test results came back all clear. Big smiles.