8 March 2007
CHOKING ON THE SAP THAT LEAVES MY LUNGS
Perhaps it’s being sick that has done it; the daily battle against my weak chest and my high fever (102.6 F/ 39.2 C) surely has caught up with me. It could simply be cabin fever.
Or it’s simply that I’m fucking bored.
As of Thursday I will have been sick a week. Sure, the fever long since broke yet I’m still hacking away. You see, I have a weak chest. Bronchitis can kill me. Hell, simply sleeping on my back can render me breathless. I’ve nearly died of walking pneumonia. When I cough, Nothing. Comes. Up.
What I have discovered in the past six days is that my drive to do anything has left me. I cannot work, I cannot’ sleep, I cannot play. I cannot leave my house. I have as much interest in reading books as I do sitting on the couch: none. My creative drive has left me wondering if I ever cared about anything.
I suspect it’ll all snap back into place as soon as this disease leaves my body. I hope, in the meantime, you can understand that I just don’t give a damn.
